APPRECIATION; THANK YOU ALL

Hello beautiful people, The year 2018 is about to come to an end. I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who has been part of my blog.

I opened the blog this year when I didn't even have an idea I will. Big thanks to everyone who has made this blog a reality.

There were times I get too lazy to write but I have some amazing people who remind me I have a blog and they would love to read my writeups. I'm so grateful for you guys. Thank you for motivating me.

Thank you so much for your support.
Thank you for opening that link everytime I send to you.
Thank you for those comments you drop after reading. If you've ever dropped any comment on the blog. I have replied you. God bless you.
Some people even help me share the link on their own social media pages. Ha. I am so grateful. Ese gan

Thank you all for your time, data and sharing your own stories and opinions. I love you all

To everyone who haven't opened the blog yet, you can still do. 2019 will be a great year.

Kindly help me share the link to the blog to your friends across social media.

In 2019, I would like to share your story on the blog. I could make you anonymous if you don't want your identity to be known. Just send me a message and tell me the story. God bless you

To the Almighty God, The creator of the Universe, Agbanilagbatan, I say thank you🙏 It's been an awesome year with you, Lord.

We look forward to a more glorious year in 2019.

2018 LESSONS

It feels so good to be alive to see the end of 2018. God has indeed been faithful.

So I think 2019 shouldn't begin without writing down the many lessons learnt in 2018.

There were so many ups and downs in this year. I lost myself several times this year but I'm glad i found myself before the year runs out.  It was indeed a tough one. Yet, I am grateful.

As the year started coming to an end, I kept on asking myself what have I achieved? Then God reminded me my way is not His'. So I continued to follow His pace.
Then I remembered I do not own the air I breathe. I am grateful oh Lord.

2018 is indeed eye opening.
There are many lessons to learn this year ( ABOUT FRIENDS
ABOUT FAMILY
ABOUT LIFE) I tried to summarise it but I couldn't. So I'll just list them down here.

●Live to please no one
●Find and Know yourself
●Hold on to God and trust Him
●If you keep allowing people to make you feel bad, they will change your person. But before they do, let them go, they don't need to go through all the journeys of life with you. Keep your circle small
No positive vibe, leave that person
No true love, leave that person

●In anger, you'd know what people think of you
●Never force a relationship or friendship to work
●Never allow anyone to make you feel you're not good enough. You're more than enough.
●Their opinion about you doesn't define you. Don't blame them. It's their perspective. We all see things differently. THEY are entitled to their opinion but you choose how you accept.
●Don't feel indispensable
●You're all by yourself
●Learn to say no when necessary
●Follow your dreams without bothering about sidetalks
●Before you tell your friends so much about you, make sure you've tested them enough
●People will always talk about you
●Never get carried away by the applause
●Love yourself so much
●Never take out your anger on anyone
●Think before you act
●Do not think you're always right
●Learn to say sorry
●Be humble
●Not everyone smiling with you is happy for you.
●Do good and expect nothing in return
●No disappointment without expectation.  So when you don't expect,  you won't be disappointed.

Late Tosyn Bucknor said;
"When you die, you will be all by yourself"
It is important to please yourself rather than people. More importantly, please God

Above all, love God and trust him. Have a close relationship with God. He's the only one who won't tell no one while he fixes your wrong.

HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE.

OPPOSITE SEX BESTIE

I've been hoping to talk about this for a while now. So I'm writing about it here today 😊

I was having this discussion with a guy some days ago about having an opposite sex bestie while you're in a relationship with or married to someone else.
He replied that he personally doesn't have a problem with it. I was like — "Really? You're one of them?" Lol. That was actually my reply.

Then he went on to say he has a friend who has a female bestie. They are both in their different relationships but are best friends. They dress in the presence of each other yet they are not dating.

Oh wow! Interesting.
I decided to write something about it. 👇
Okay! Let's discuss about this opposite sex bestie issue here.
Do you think it's right? Wrong? Or you're indifferent about it?

Yes! You love her
Yes! She loves you.
You both love each other.
But why are you both in a relationship when you can't be best friends?
Why are you married when you're not best of friends.
If you don't see yourselves as best friends, why are you committed to each other?
So you as a man now has a female bestfriend who is not your spouse.
You as a lady now have male bestfriend who is not your spouse.
Why?
Why does it look like you're hiding under the "bestie" title to perform some acts.
Why do you report your partner to your so called bestie?
Why are you being selfish not considering the other party's emotions?

Your excuse is; Oh, you've known your bestie years before you met your spouse.
Now that you're married, it's difficult to let your bestie go right? Okay!

Your so called bestie now controls your relationship
How do you expect your partner to cope?
Oh! Now you are complaining that your partner is just being jealous.
Really?
Why wont your partner be?
You pretend not to know how it feels.

It's your birthday and your so called bestie delivers a cake to your office with the inscription "Happy birthday love" "Happy birthday Sweet"
When did you both become lovers when you have your own spouse? What exactly is sweet that's making him/her call you sweet?

You see your bestie as your comforter
A shoulder to cry on
What happened to your spouse' shoulders? Too small for your big head or it's too hard🙄

Everyone in your bestie' house now know you even more than your spouse' family.
Kilode. Are you in a relationship with your bestie?
You now see your bestie' family as yours.

Infact, you feel safe to tell your bestie things you cannot tell your spouse.
You allow your bestie to define your relationship.

Can you be in a room with your opposite sex bestie and nothing would happen?
Sometimes it's not even about having sex with each other. It's beyond that.

What are your views on this topic? Feel free to comment below.
How do you manage your spouse and your bestie?
Do you think it's right? Wrong? Or you're indifferent about it? Is it good for a serious relationship or marriage?

HOW DO YOU SOLVE THAT PROBLEM?

Good evening beautiful people,
How was our day?

Just few hours ago, I posted a maths riddle on my whatsapp status. I've been receiving different answers to the riddle. I decided to come here to write down some things for us all to read before I finally say the answer. I know some people might want to strangle me. Lol
Y'all should kindly read.

Okay! This is the riddle and I'll solve or say the answer at the end of this post.

Often times, we are in so much hurry that we forget to pay attention to details.
There's a problem but we are too quick to look for solution to the problem.
We don't even calm down to know the root of the problem inorder to know where to start from.
We might actually know the solution to that problem or issue but we are not just patient enough to see the problem deeply.
So we keep guessing

All we want is the solution to the problem
We are not patient enough to know the source.
Don't be too quick to tackle that issue disturbing you, calm down and know why you're facing the issue
Then, you'd know what to do about it.
You've failed so many times,
Have you gone back to know the reason for the failure inorder to know what to do next?

Even back in school, we are sometimes given back our scripts so that we can see the mistakes we made.

There's something bothering you, there's an issue you're facing, have you even wondered if you're not taking the right steps concerning the matter? Probably what you need to do is even less stressful.

The truth is when we know the source of a problem, it's easy to find the right solution.
How do we know the source of the issues we're facing? JESUS!!!
He knows all things
He sees all things
Talk to him about it.
Then He will teach us what to do.

Back to the riddle.....
The little man in the riddle wasn't wearing any shoes from the beginning, neither was he carrying anything on his hands from the beginning.
But he was carrying two papers and wearing shoes in the section we are to solve.
So this is the solution:
5+ (5+4+10)*2
5+19*2 (using bodmas)
5+38= 43
Now we can all see that the maths is very simple. Infact we all could have easily gotten the answers but we didn't look closely.

In conclusion, LET'S BE PATIENT
LET'S PAY ATTENTION TO DETAILS.

Thank you for reading!

DESTINATION

Oh yeah, it's been a while here. I'm back😊 How have we been?

So I'm here to tell you a short story.

One morning, my mum called me to come to the busstop to meet her and collect something as she was heading towards oshodi. I was to meet her at Ladipo, some of us are familiar with this area. "Meet me at ladipo in 10minutes", she said. So I quickly left what i was doing and headed to Ladipo.

On getting to Ladipo exactly 10minutes after she called me, my mum wasn't there yet. I was not happy because i don't like standing for too long. So i gave her a call and she said she's stuck in traffic at Ikeja.  I know how Lagos morning traffic could be so I start walking back to sogunle. I prefer walking to standing. Don't mind me.lol. So I called my mum that we would meet at sogunle. I got to sogunle and realised there was still traffic behind and my mum was not still at the busstop.

So I had no choice than to stand and wait for her at the busstop. As I was waiting, different buses passed, stopped,picked passengers and left. I was wondering why some passengers didn't enter the buses, then i remembered the road leads to two routes;Oshodi underbridge and Oshodi Express. I was just there looking at everyone entering buses and coming down from buses.

Then something happened, a small yellow bus stopped at the busstop to pick passengers. People entered and as the driver was about to leave, the last person that entered who was already closing the door asked a question; "NI BO LE N LO" meaning "WHERE ARE YOU GOING". The driver told him and the bus left.

Then it occurred to me that this man actually entered a bus without knowing it's destination. The driver actually called the busstop he was going immediately he stopped. Was he not listening?

Some of us are like this man, we jump into conclusions without asking. We assume too much. We just feel this thing is going the way we think.

In the journey of life, some of us just jump at anything. We feel everyone is doing this ,then I should join them.  We assume it will work for us. We dont even bother to ask questions. We just put ourselves in a state of competition. Oh! This girl is doing this and it's working for her, you go into it too. Ha! You're different. Don't jump into a bus that's not meant for your destination

This man even tried to ask questions so he won't have to drop on the way. Some of us won't even ask questions at all. We just assume and keep working with the assumption.

In some relationships,We assume we are in a relationship because we feel the other party likes us, we feel the other party cares for us. Then we will be disappointed half way to realise it's not what we think. The person you think you're in a relationship with isn't even in a relationship with you. Why? You've never asked if the person is headed to the same destination as you. You are just doing follow follow, joining another person's bus and not focusing on how you'll get your destination bus. Have you ever asked that person, what's his/her plan for you both?

In friendships, you hear something about someone, you didn't even bother to ask questions,  you just conclude what you hear is true. You quickly joined the bus of the person who came to give you the gist. You quickly left your own path and focus on another person's without even verifying. You should stop that.

             "Know your destination"
Know your own destination. Once you know where you're going, it will be easier to identify the right bus to enter in order to get to your destination. It will also be easier to identify the kinds of people you will need in the journey.

In conclusion, As i was thinking of all I've written, my mum finally came, I got the things from her and went back home.

MY THOUGHTS ON ACRIMONY

Oh yeah! I hardly watch Hollywood but guess what, I just watched ACRIMONY. There's a need to write about it.

ACRIMONY is full of lessons. It's beyond trying to figure out who is at fault. It's more of pick your lessons from the movie and walk away. Don't try to support one party or else you will end up supporting the other too.

When i downloaded the movie and realised its not subtitled, I was wondering if I would enjoy it well. Not that I don't understand English o,don't get me wrong,I just needed to read along as I listened to them speak. My cousin showed up and helped me in downloading the subtitle. So we started watching.

The movie started with a court scene and we listened attentively. Then the story began with  Melinda saying her own side of the story.   Like most people, I blamed the guy at first. We would pause the movie at intervals just because I have something to say. I was furious . Why will he sleep with her when she was mourning her mother? Why would you give your money to a guy and he ends up cheating on you? He comes back begging and you throw yourself at him again?  Why? Why? Why? I was already seeing the guy as a cheat because the story was Melinda' perspective.  Trust me, she would say it to favour herself. My cousin kept telling me to calm down, let's finish watching.

As we continued,I realise it's not a movie you could take sides. I then calmed down to watch till the end. I was now the one telling my cousin to calm down and let's conclude the movie.

I'll love to highlight some lessons I learnt;

NEVER WAIVE AWAY WARNING SIGNALS:
Always remember this when choosing a life partner. Before you walk down that aisle, don't turn blind eyes and deaf ears to warning signals. God will not allow some things to happen in your life without warning you in advance. Melinda' husband not only knew but saw the kind of person she is.  He saw the signs but still went ahead to marry Melinda.
What signs am I talking about? Anger issues. She told him to his face. He saw it himself right from the first the first day. How? It started with a slap on their first encounter. He saw she gets angry easily. Then he went ahead to date her. While dating her, He cheated on her and he saw her reaction. She actually drove trashed where he was staying and destroyed the car she bought for him. Just because of that act, she injured herself and couldn't conceive for the rest of her life.  He saw she could kill when she's angry. But he still went ahead to marry her. Even the side chick asked him years later what he did to Melinda,He replied "I Married her". All in the name of love. This decision he made almost took his life years later. He married the woman who could have taken his life.

DONT ALWAYS TAKE FROM WHERE YOU HAVE NOT DEPOSITED.

YOU can't keep taking from where you have not deposited, it's wrong.You would be choking the other party. The other party could get tired and frustrated. Robert should have given in the relationship too.  Melinda was the one providing monetarily. Infact,it looks as if Robert intentionally relied on the 350,000 dollars her mother left for her.  He kept spending the money till it remained nothing. When the money finished, He told her to mortgage her house. I was like really? Couldn't he just get a job to support the house. He even said he will try to get a job. Just try? This was what gave Melinda the impression that she's been used. That her husband was just interested in her money, whereas he isn't. She gave him all she had all in the name of love.
Whether monetary or not, if you've not deposited something in someone's life,you can't keep taking from them. You can't keep depending on people. While he was waiting on his vision, he should have supported his wife. Okay , what if he never made the millions???

MARRY SOMEONE WHO BELIEVES IN YOUR VISION.
The person you marry is very important in the attainment of your goals and vision in life. I can boldly say, Melinda never believed in Robert's vision(My opinion). Although she contributed towards the course but she didn't believe in it. She just kept giving him because she loves him. When she had no more, she then started listening to sidetalks. She didn't believe Robert's dream will come into reality. If she did, she would have stayed no matter what till the vision is attained. She never encouraged him, she never gave him hope. Even after he told her everything he would get for her, she replied by saying all she wanted him to do was get a job. She even said he borrowed suit to see her, not knowing he came to give her 10million dollars. The huge amount they have never made in her own family. The stone that was rejected now became the corner stone. 

"Get married to someone who would not only support your vision but also believe in it till the end"

TRUST
Trust takes years to build but just one minute to break it. Robert betrayed Belinda' trust for him and it was not easy to build it over the years. He cheated her while they were dating and she still forgave him and married him. He then broke another trust by not telling her he had been jailed for 2years while he was younger. He didnt say it until she asked why he couldn't get a job. Trust has been broken. Years later, the purse issue happened. The trust was shaking right from the foundation of the marriage. So she couldn't believe him when he told him he had nothing to do with the side chick.

"How are we even sure the side chick did not intentionally forget her purse?"

It is important to always endeavour not to break trust in relationships even friendship.  It's not always easy to build again.

WORK ON YOURSELF
No one is beyond improvement. We are work in progress. We're suppose to keep developing ourselves.
This is the mistake Melinda made. She knew she had anger issues but didn't do anything about it. She told Robert who she is.
Some people are like Melinda, they would say "You have to take me for who I am, I can't change, it's my person" . I need to tell you all that Melinda' lack of working on herself led to her death. Her anger issues killed her.
If you have any issues, please seek help. We improve daily.

LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH
it's good to be in love but love is not enough.  There are lot of things needed to keep a marriage. Robert loved Melinda truly even till the point of death. He was in pains but he didn't want her to die.
They both loved each other but love was not enough to sustain them.

"But then why didn't he go back to his ex-wife after he made the million dollars? Why the side chick? Why didn't he fight further for his wife he claims he loves?  Why did he have to do all the things he promised his exwife for the side chick who later became his wife?

So many questions left unanswered.

THIRD PARTY INVOLVEMENT / HEAR THE OTHER SIDE
NEVER allow a third party in your relationship, it does more harm than good. Melinda' sisters involvement was one of the reasons the marriage had to break. Why did her sister have to bring the purse to her? Why? Oh! She acted like a concerned sister would?

Always hear the other side of the story. Judging one sided story is not always good.

DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS.
Believe in your dreams even when people don't. It might take years of waiting,hard work,pain, tears, sleepless nights, being broke. But I assure you, it will happen. It will be worth the wait. You will have it just as you have visioned it. But what do you do during your waiting period?

In conclusion, Let's always remember we are responsible for our decisions. We will all account for our choices sooner or later. Be careful when taking decisions.

Feel free to drop your thoughts about the movie in the comment box below 👇. Whose side are you? The husband, the wife, or the side chick?

THE FOOTBALL GAME

Recently,  I became a football lover just like that.  How and why it happened I can't really say. I just find myself enjoying every bit of the football game. I have always been watching every match since FIFA World cup began.

Although it hurts to see my dear country leave the world cup in the group stage but I must say we actually did well. Everyone has had a bad day one way or the other whether at work, at home or at our various businesses, so we should commend the effort of the Super Eagles.

Watching this year's world cup as it is ongoing has actually opened my eyes to some things. I learnt from it as I enjoyrd watching it. Here are some of the lessons i learnt. Not to worry, it won't consume much of your time.

*People will only celebrate you when you win. Once you fail or lose,they forget all your past success and winnings.  I am not saying failure should be celebrated, but a person shouldn't be castigated because of it. People often don't care how much efforts you have put into a particular thing,once you fail,they believe you amount to nothing. They think you never prepared for success.

Once you fail,people look down on you immediately, they believe in you no more. Infact, they don't want to give you a second chance. Some parents do this to their children; they don't care if the child studied day and night for the exam, once the child fails, the parents start showing preference.

Quick Question: is failure usually prepared For? Do people already prepare to fail?

I remember when Super Eagles lost the match to Argentina and had to go home, most of us immediately forgot how they made us jubilate by winning iceland. We began to talk them down and insult them. supereagles never planned to lose the match but it happened even though they prepared well.
DON'T GET CARRIED AWAY BY THE LOUD CHEER FROM THE CROWD. THEY ONLY CHEER WHEN YOU WIN. YOU WILL BE ALL ALONE DURING TRYING TIMES. BE FOCUSED .

*Another lesson I learnt is that; being the best does not necessarily mean you will always win. It doesn't mean you will have all you want. The mighty also fall.

I really don't know much about football but if you do,you will agree with me that some teams you didn't expect would go home have actually gone home.  FOOTBALL is indeed unpredictable.

I learnt this lesson Spain v Russia. Most people believed Spain was going to move to quarter finals but then Russia won with penalties. Disappointment in people's face as Spain leaves.
YOU ALWAYS THINK YOU ARE THE BEST RIGHT? YOU THINK SOMEONE CAN'T DO WITHOUT YOU? DONT BE TOO PROUD. BE HUMBLE, THERE WILL BE TRYING TIMES.

*Another lesson I learnt is determination. JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE AHEAD OF YOU DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T GET THERE AND ALSO BE AHEAD. BE DETERMINED, KEEP PUSHING. DONT GIVE UP.

In Japan vs belgium, we saw how Japan scored two goals within 5 In the second half. Seeing that,I was already thinking Belgium would go home.  But Belgium kept pushing, they didn't give up. There and then, they scored  two goals too.  Both scored two goals in the second half. After exhausting 90mins,I already thought they would be given 30mins extra and probably result to penalties. Just 30seconds before the match ended,Belgium scored their third goal. And that was the end of the match. This match was one of the football game I enjoyed in this world cup.

Japan scored two goals first but Belgium scored three goals after. It looked like Japan were going to win. It looked like there was no hope. But Belgium never gave up until it was over.

DON'T GIVE UP

ALWAYS REMEMBER, YOU CAN DO IT!

Join me in watching the FIFA WORLD CUP till it ends.

Thank you for reading.😘😘😘

PICTURE PERFECT

They live in the neighborhood
When we see them both
They were all we want to be
They were all we want in a relationship
They were perfect

We see them everyday hugging each other
In the warmth of their arms lies their heads
The shoulders they carry were for each other
They were perfect

Not that we the onlookers are jobless
No!  We just love to see them together
All we wanted was in them
They were perfect

Just because of them
We sometimes fight with our own partners
We feel our partners are not good enough
We wanted our partners be like these two
They were indeed perfect

They come out radiant and all smiles
They never have any course to fight
They were role models to us
They were perfect

Just One day,
I passed through their window
Just to see what how they do it
They were so perfect

I heard a loud bang,
Glasses breaking,
I ran as much as my legs could carry me
Probably thieves were around, I said to myself
They were perfect

I got to my house panting
Then these two came out dressed for a party
Oh! what a Lovey dovey couple
The definition of perfection

Then I called my partner,
let's go for a party tonight, I said
But he wouldn't
I got angry and hung up on him
Why can't he just be like these two, I murmured

Stepping out of my house one day,
I saw one of them this time around
She had a bruise on her face
I said hello to her
As I took my leave,
I overheard her talking to someone on phone saying she hit her face on the wall
So sad!  I said to myself

Admiring the perfect two was so easy
Seeing them put smiles on our faces
Infact, We left partners who can't meet up the races

As I went to dump the refuse one evening
I heard two voices screaming
As I drew nearer to their place
The voices became clearer
These two were not what we thought they were? i asked myself
Then I listened to their harsh conversations
Heard the hitting!

I immediately remembered the bruises I saw on her face the last time
So she didn't hit herself on the wall afterall
She was playing along all these while

So perfect, we thought they were

The woman was suffering from domestic violence
They were not perfect after all
They were just pretending to us all along
They were only good and looked happy when they came out
They were not even perfect

They were PICTURE PERFECT 

Oh!  I burst into tears
Not because of the couple
But because of the decisions we've made by looking at their lifestyle
We've ruined our own relationships and friendships
We just wanted to be like the perfect Couple

Little did we know that the perfection we see is just for the CAMERA (OUR EYES)  it wasn't permanent. It didn't even exist in their home.

*Never compare yourself
Don't make decisions based on what you see in Others
Don't compare your relationship with another
You never even know what that person you want to be like is going through
Love yourself and be contented with what you have
Trust God for all your needs!

LETTING GO

"Yes!  He did it!  I admit it!  He did it!"
Alake screamed as I walked into the room. She has been depressed for days.

"He did what? who did it?  Alake, what's wrong???" I asked as she was panting.

She again said, He did it and I regret it!  I wish I could turn back the hands of time. I wish I didn't allow him. I regret it! I just wish him dead right now.  he deceived me. I don't love myself anymore. She kept saying to herself.

At this point, I knew there was little or nothing I could do. I decided to call a big sister who is into counseling so she could help me talk to Alake.

I took her to our room immediately and hope Alake would open up to her. We met Alake in the same position I left her. Then Sis Sade started consoling her and said words of encouragement to her.  She asked Alake what happened and Alake decided to open up!

We sat and listened to her story.

Then She began!

Alake is a church girl. She loves God so much and does his will.  Alake doesn't involve herself in illicit act as she is a believer.  She has a friend,Sope, a friend she trusts and opens up to.

Alake was in a relationship where the guy cheated on her and left her.  Same happened in her second relationship too. so she decided not to be in any relationship again. 

I interrupted and asked her why she thinks these guys left her. 

Then she said they usually ask for sex but she doesn't want to engage in sexual activities. So in return, they cheat on her and leave her emotionally broken.  I just wanted to keep myself till I'm married.

It was her 22nd birthday, she then decided to celebrate it so well in her parent's house as she was excited about it.  She invited friends over to celebrate with her. A friend of hers brought a guy to her birthday party who Alake was even oblivious of the fact that he was around as she was carried away with the joy of the day.

Alake took pictures with her friends and invited guests as they called it a day. She then said goodbye to everyone and went to her room. It was indeed a long day and Alake couldn't wait to retire to bed as she was tired.

The next day, she decided to call to appreciate everyone who was present for her birthday. Then her friend, Sope, told her that a friend of hers, a guy,  whom she brought to the party actually likes Alake.  Sope further said that the guy requested for Alake's number and asked if she could give him the number. Alake trusts sope not to be friends with unbelievers so she agreed to give the guy her number.

Almost immediately, Tola, Sope's friend, called Alake.  His voice sounded sweet like that of a baby. Alake smiled all through the conversation like someone who is being tickled.  lol.  That was how it started.

Tola kept calling morning, afternoon and night.  He gave Alake the attention she needed.  Then they started dating even without seeing physically. it was that deep.

Alake had gone back to school in Portharcourt, so there was no how she could see him as he's also busy and with work in Lagos! They talked about the future.  they talk about virtually everything. She told Tola that she was a virgin and was not ready to lose it until marriage. Tola seems to agree with it.

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks, they say right? Tola kept talking about kissing, caressing, sex and all. Alake on the other hand continue with the flow thinking its just for the fun of it as she already made her stand known to Tola

They kept professing their love to each other. After few months, it was important they see each other, so they agreed that Tola travel down to Portharcourt to see her in school. 

The day finally came, Tola lodged in an hotel in portharcourt. Alake then went to meet him at the hotel. 

Guess what happened immediately we saw?  Alake asked Sis Sade and I. We just starred at her as she continued.

They started kissing and romancing, before she knew it, they were on the bed. Alake then begged him not to sleep with her, not to break her virginity, not to defile her but he won't listen. He just kept telling Alake that it won't be painful, he will do it slowly. Then he started penetrating till he broke it!  Soaked wept so badly and was bleeding.

Tola was then happy with what he did . He felt excited. Although, he patted Alake as she wept. As Tola opened his bag, unknown to him, Alake saw the condoms Tola actually brought to Portharcourt.  A text message then entered Tola's phone, it was Sope! Alake checked the screen of the phone and saw sope's message asking if Tola had broken it!  There and then she knew he didn't come to joke. It was a plan all along.  Sope was always jealous of Alake's virginity! Alake left for her hostel and never went back to the hotel even when Tola called her to.  They talked on phone.

Tola then left for Lagos after two days, he stopped calling like he used to.  he reduced chatting.  it then dawned of Alake that she was actually not in a relationship. She has been used, She thought to herself.

At the time She finished her story,  I was short of words! I felt so sorry for her.  She was deceived by a trusted friend. She had kept herself so well only to lose her dignity to a deceiver who never loved her.

We told her to wipe her tears and everything will be alright.  Sis Sade volunteered to help her by checking on her and speaking to her daily.  We prayed with her and I emphasized on the fact that she has to forgive her friend and hope her friend comes to the realization of what she did one day. "I know it's not easy, but you have to let go, Alake" I said to her.

Her friend, Sope still calls her and sympathized with her not knowing Alake now knows all she did.

Yes!  It actually took time before Alake healed.  But she eventually did. She prayed to God and asked for forgiveness, she also promised never to defile herself before marriage again.  She forgave Sope wholeheartedly.

After few weeks, Alake didn't see her period as calculated.  She quickly ran to Sis Sade because she remembered Tola got carried away and didn't use condom when they had sex.  Sis Sade advised her to go for a test. She sent a text to Tola to tell him the development of things, but Tola replied by saying, no matter what happens, he's not ready to father a child.  That was the last time she heard from him.

She prayed to God to give her a second chance as she doesn't want to be pregnant.  Alake went for the test in the hospital. Lo and behold, she was not pregnant.  On hearing this, Alake gave a sigh of relief.

Sope still says hello to Alake. Alake already forgave her and didn't talk about what she saw the other day.  Sope's relationship started sinking.  Her boyfriend beats her, sleeps with her and she now plays the role of a wife even as a girlfriend. Alake advised her to leave the abusivrelationship but Sope wouldn't listen.

Alake's relationship with God kept growing and she kept to her promise of not engaging in premarital sex again.

In her final year in the University, she met a fine and God-fearing man, Jimi, who lives in Abuja but came to Portharcourt  for a business meeting. He met Alake in portharcourt and became interested in her.  They became friends and their friendship grew. As their friendship continued, Jimi asked her out,  she hesitated at first but Jimi was able to convince her telling her that he has good intentions. She told Jimi she's not interested in sex before marriage and Jimi never brought up the topic.

Alake graduated and went for Nysc and their love is still as strong as ever. In fact, if Alake talks about sex, Jimi pays no attention to it.  In his words;  you only do what you think.  if we keep talking about sex, we might end up having it against our Will.

To Alake, Jimi is God's plan for her.  She wondered where he has been all her life.

It was POP,  Jimi showed up, on his knees and proposed to her. This day seems to be one of the happiest day in her life.  She was so excited and couldn't wait to share the news.

The next day, she received a call her friend, Sope, has been hospitalized. She didn't know what was wrong but she needed to be there. 

On getting to the hospital, she saw Sope in bed, bruises all over her body, she couldn't stand or sit. Her boyfriend had beaten her, pushed her down the stairs and left the house. Her neighbour came to rescue her and took her to the hospital Alake felt so sorry for her.

Sope opened her eyes and saw Alake, she sighted the ring on her finger and Alake told her Jimi proposed. Tears rolled down Sope's eyes and she began to seek forgiveness.  She said she's not worthy to be called Alake's friend.  She called herself, the unfriendly friend.

She explained everything that happened between her and Tola, she begged Alake to forgive her.

She was shocked when Alake told her she already found out but she had forgiven her.  It's now left to her to forgive herself.  Alake then prayed with her and hope she gets well soon

Alake is getting married in few months while Sope might be spending few months in the hospital bed.
It pays to be patient, it pays to love God.  it pays to let go and let God

Some people are like Alake;
when you lost your virginity
you felt used
you felt bad
you wish you had waited
just a little longer
you wish you could turn back the hands of time
you probably would have made a better decision
But guess what?
Mistakes are part of our life
your past doesn't determine your future
you need to forgive yourself
Learn from your mistakes
and move on.
Yes!  you've done it once but you could still keep yourself
Don't kill yourself
Time will tell.
don't trust too much
Learn to forgive others
forgive yourself
Let go and let God.
LET IT GO!

YES! I FOUND IT

YES! I found it
What?  I'll tell you
Where?  I'll give you the gist

In the world full of trials and tribulations
in the world full of deceit
in the world full of gossip and rumour
Nothing seems to entice me anymore

So I started seeking for happiness
I thought and thought
I searched and searched
Looking for where I can just be happy

As I was thinking aloud,someone came to me and asked why I was talking to myself.
Then I answered and said to him that I seek happiness,this world we are in is full of chaos. The person then told me not to look further, that he will take me somewhere.

Guess what?  He took me to a club. On  getting there, my hope increased.  I saw people laughing and dancing. Seems they had nothing to worry about.  So I decided to sit, watch and enjoy so I could find my own happiness. As I was watching, I saw two people fighting and pouring out  their hearts. Now it seems to me that people there are not there to be happy, they are just trying to while away time and forget their sorrows.  So I left as I realised my happiness was not there.

I kept thinking, I need to be happy. Another person said to me, she said I'm just lonely and I need a boyfriend. Maybe she's right, I thought to myself.  So I decided to have one.  But still, I wasn't happy, it wasn't because the guy was not good enough but because I've not known myself yet and I'm seeking happiness in the poor guy.  So again, I left and told him I'll be back. I needed to find true happiness.

Again, another person told me I'll find happiness in my job but Lo and behold, it still wasn't there. There's no inner happiness so it can't be transferred to my job

Another told me that happiness is in the houses I built and the cars I have.  Yes I have all these things but I wasn't still happy.  Happiness is not in them. They are just material things.

I was now deeply sad, is there no way I can find happiness. Why must I live in this deceitful world without happiness from within. This is not fair at all,i said to myself.  I just wanted to be happy.  That's not too much to ask.

Then my long time friend came to see me. She entered and met me depressed. She then asked what's wrong, I explained all to her.  I told her the places I've been and what I have done. She then said to me, "You have been seeking happiness in the wrong places " I asked "How" She said I have to meet him before I find true happiness. Then I started blabbing, meet HIM?  Who?  a BOYFRIEND?  I already had one but it wasn't working, I didn't find the happiness I wanted in him. So I left him.

She then told me to be patient and listen.
I listened attentively hoping to hear what will make me happy.
She asked if I own a Bible, I said yes and quickly dashed inside my room to pick it, it was so dusty. you could guess I've not opened it in a long time. She asked when last I opened it, I shyly answered.

She told me to open to John3:16 . Oh yes!  this is a common verse, I said as I opened it.
She told me how Christ died for me just for me to be saved.
Truly, I've heard and read that verse but it didn't have so much meaning to me as it did today.  She took her time to explain to me what this meant. She told me to open bible passages like Phil 3:10, jer 29:11 and so on

She emphasized on the fact that true happiness can only be found in CHRIST.  It's only when I seek Christ and know that I can find happiness. There and then, the happiness begins to come from within.

I made my happiness depend on CHRIST
YES!  I FOUND IT
I FOUND HAPPINESS
FROM WITHIN
IN CHRIST

It all starts and ends with Christ!

There's someone like me out there who is seeking happiness.  You need to check up on that friend and tell him/her the right thing to do. Speak to someone about JESUS

I'm grateful my friend came in at the right time to put me through.  I was depressed and she showed up.  Always show up for your friends.  Check up on them.  It will mean a lot. In fact, you might be saving a soul .

DEPENDENCY 4 (CONCLUDING PART)

Jabo kept playing her cards perfectly well until Soji caught her in bed with the married man in the house he rented for her. Soji was so disappointed in her. He had thought he had her all to himself not knowing she's into another man. 

Soji was down for days. Then he remembered the day Bibi called him to inform him that Jabo was bleeding and has been rushed to the hospital.  Apparently Jabo had an abortion after she was not sure of the owner of the pregnancy as it was definitely not Siku. Soji was really disappointed and wished Jabo had kept the pregnancy not knowing she was cheating on him.

It now dawned on him that Jabo has not been faithful to him all along. After all the love he showed to Jabo, she could still cheat on him.  Then he made his decision,  He ended the relationship with Jabo. Although it was not an easy decision.
Soji just wasted his time loving someone who doesn't love him in return.

Jabo was sad that her relationship with Soji has ended. She still kept her relationship with the married man because she needed money.

One of the holidays she went home, Siku proposed to her and she said YES. She was so excited.  She told Bibi about it when she got back to school for their final semester.  Bibi rejoiced with her but asked her to end the relationship she has with the married man. Jabo said No, she can't . "You will regret your actions" Bibi said to Jabo as she left.

Bibi got a big contract. Her hair stylist business finally paved way for her.  She's not just an ordinary hairstylist now, she has now gone international. She's now successful.. She shared her good news with Jabo and informed her she will be traveling out of the country immediately after their final exams.

It's time for Jabo's wedding preparations.  Siku was the happiest man on earth.  He was so happy he's getting married to the woman he has loved all his life. So they were told in church to do different medical tests in the hospital. So they quickly went and did it.

The day to get the test results finally came. They just wanted to collect the results and show the pastor. Unfortunately, the doctor confirmed that Joba has STD and also her womb has been damaged due to abortion.

This news sounded odd to Siku.  "STD?  womb damaged?  I thought you are supposed to be a virgin. I waited for you for years but this is all I get. Jabo, just tell me it's not true"

Jabo then fell on her knees begging siku but it was too late.  She wept and wept.  The thought of what Bibi told her flashed through her mind.  Now she's indeed regretting as she drowned in her own tears. Had she known she would have listened to Bibi.

Don't be like Jabo, she was just not contented with what she had.  She never lacked the basic needs of life. No reasons would have justified her actions in this story.  she just wanted to depend on men for cash.

Having a boyfriend doesn't mean you should depend on him for your survival.

Look at Bibi, she was helpless but she was also independent. She empowered herself then she became successful.  Women empowerment is important.  You can be anything you want to be without requesting from a man.

Be contented
Don't depend on men
Be faithful to your relationship

THE END....

THANK YOU FOR READING.

DEPENDENCY 3

Jabo left the hostel with her loads to Soji's house.

On getting to Soji's house, Soji asked what happened exactly and she told Soji she's tired of living in the hostel. Soji asked what she wanted. And she replied and said she wants soji to rent an apartment for her off campus. Soji loves Jabo so he granted her request.
Poor Soji!
Jabo kept living the life she wanted.

Siku still kept in touch with Jabo. He tried all he could to keep the relationship going. He loves Jabo so much that he guarded their relationship with all he has. Siku is patiently waiting for their wedding night to break her virginity because this has been the plan. Anytime Jabo comes home on holiday, Siku tries his best not to sleep with her. he's so faithful. Jabo kept promising Siku that she remains faithful to him.

Bibi still sees Jabo in class when they have lectures.  She still tried her best to advise jabo not to waste Soji's time.  She told her to be truthful to the two guys.  Bibi couldn't summon courage to tell soji all these as it will be seen as betraying her friend. So she just kept it to herself.

I do not blame Bibi though.

Jabo met a rich married man around her new area in school.  He asked her to be his girlfriend since his wife and children were not in the country. Jabo accepted as she sees him as another source of income. The man made it clear that he won't marry her as he's married already, Joba was less concerned and focused on the gain.

All Jabo was after was how to get money from men. Her whole life now depended on them.  She sees men as a source of income to satisfy her desire.

But how's Jabo coping dating two single guys and a married man?

Bibi on the other hand kept working hard as she was schooling.  She developed herself.  She learnt a vocational training and became a hairstylist and entrepreneur. She worked so well that she never depended on anyone for her survival. She was able to fend for herself and pay her fees.

Bibi tried to talk to Jabo about empowering herself. She told Jabo to be independent but Jabo wasn't interested as her two boyfriends and man friend were paying her bills. All she wanted was to be like Rita and Tito. Bibi explained to her that there's time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3) but she was adamant.

Jabo kept playing her cards perfectly well until.......

TO BE CONTINUED

DEPENDENCY 2

It's a new beginning for Jabo. A new environment. She was so happy to finally be in the University. Her school fees was paid and her parents said they could only afford hostel fees as against Jabo's wish of wanting to stay off campus. She just wanted freedom but her parents couldn't afford the luxurious lifestyle she wants.

Jabo was sad as she made her way to the hostel. This is not just the kind of life she wants. She wanted a room to herself not sharing a room with 3 other ladies from different backgrounds. Getting to the hostel, she met her bunkmate, Bibi.

Bibi is such a nice, friendly and God-fearing lady. She came from a very poor background. Her father is late, so she's left with her mother.  In fact, she had to work and save up to assist her mother for her school fees before resuming into the University. Bibi is so contented with whatever she has.  She doesn't spend lavishly.

Jabo and Bibi became close friends as the semester continued. They are both in the same department so they tend to do things together. Jabo told Bibi of her wish to live off campus and have total freedom but her parents insisted she stays in the hostel because it's cheaper. Bibi advised her to be patient and contented, that with time, everything will be better.   Jabo was not really satisfied with Bibi's reply.

Bibi is so beautiful that when both of them are walking on the road, guys admire Bibi more.  This makes Jabo jealous most times, although Bibi wasn't even interested in guys.

Remember Rita and Tito, Jabo's childhood friends, they kept to their promise and still kept in touch with Jabo. Jabo, on the other hand, became jealous of her childhood friends every time she sees their pictures. Jabo would always envy their luxurious lifestyle and hope to be like them.

Jabo actually never laacked the basic needs of life (food, clothing, and shelter) .She just wanted extra

Jabo is now in 200level and decided to date a guy,Soji, who has been disturbing her, although she's still keeping the relationship she has back at home with Siku. Siku sends her monthly allowance and always keep in touch with her daily.

Soji is very handsome and rich. He's so caring and loves Jabo wholeheartedly. Jabo actually agreed to dating Soji because she saw him as a source of income.  Jabo sees Soji as someone who will always pay her bills. Soji is oblivious of the fact that Jabo has someone she's dating back at home, so he showers Jabo with gifts and all she needs. (Poor guy) Jabo now enjoys the kind of life she's living as she could now do anything she likes with money.

Bibi, knowing fully well Jabo has a relationship back at home, called Jabo for a heart to heart talk immediately she noticed Jabo is having an affair with Soji.

Bibi said to Jabo;  " Jabo, all you are doing is so unnecessary. You are in a relationship back at home and this man loves you so much, don't waste his time. If you are not interested in him again, just let him know and let him go. Or better still, tell Soji you are in a relationship with someone back at home.You can't keep depending on men for your survival "

In reaction to what Bibi said, Jabo got angry. She asked why Bibi would question her decision. She was really furious, she almost hit Bibi on the face in the heat of the argument. 

She immediately packed her loads from the hostel and told Bibi she's going for good. 

"Since you have decided to be a judge over my life, I'm leaving for you " She said as she slams the door.

TO BE CONTINUED.....

Where's she going?
Was Bibi wrong by advising Jabo?
Was Jabo supposed to be in a relationship with another guy in school?

DEPENDENCY

"You will regret your actions" .... This thought flashed through Jabo's mind as she drowned in her own tears.....

Jabo is a very cheerful Lady. She is the only child of her parents. Jabo comes from a good home.  Jabo's parents are neither rich nor poor. They could afford the basic needs of life. They are okay. Jabo's parents are civil servants who lived on their monthly salaries.

Jabo has two friends; they are twins. These two, Rita and Tito are Jabo's childhood friend who came from a wealthy home unlike Jabo. They shared things together and never made Jabo feel bad about her own family. They all love one another.

It's now time to seek admission into the University as they are now done with their secondary education. Rita and Tito were sent abroad to further their education while Jabo remained in Nigeria struggling with jamb and post jamb. The day Rita and Tito were leaving the country was an emotional day, they promised to keep in touch with their friend and said goodbye. Goodbyes are really sad. Jabo wept but life goes on .

Jabo attended jamb classes and write exams, passed wonderfully but wasn't given admission. This happened twice and Jabo kept wondering why she wasn't picked. Jabo was 20years old as at this time.

Shortly before she wrote the next jamb, She decided to be in a relationship with a guy who has been asking her out for over two years. She's now giving him a chance to prove himself. His name is Siku. Siku is a graduate of Business Administration. He teaches in a secondary school pending the time he would get a better offer. He's in his mid 20s. Their relationship grew stronger and stronger. They loved each other so much.

Jabo was very close to her mother so she decided to open up to her mother and introduced her boyfriend to her.  Her mother advised and counselled both of them. She constantly advised her daughter about the right way to go and Jabo promised to be a good child.

One day, Jabo's mother fell so sick and her dad couldn't afford the hospital bills. The only place Jabo could run to was Siku's place. On hearing this, Siku dashed to the hospital and added the remaining amount of money needed to complete the hospital bills.  Jabo's parents were so grateful to him.

Jabo wrote Jamb and post jamb again the third time, passed wonderfully as expected. She was given admission this time around to study Biochemistry, her dream course. She was so excited and her boyfriend was happy with the new development.

Siku then said to her;
"Jabo, I hope you would stay with me forever, I'll wait for you till you are done. Always know that I love you. Keep yourself for me, I can't wait to unveil you on our wedding night.  May the Lord guide your steps my darling "

Jabo replied him;
"I'll be faithful to you, my love. I'll always be there for you. And I'll keep myself like you said"......

TO BE CONTINUED.........

Let's hope they are able to keep to their promises.

GRACE

I was skeptical about writing this at first. Is it necessary? why should I?  But then, I decided to write. There are lots of things we take for granted which we shouldn't. This is just a reminder that God still does his wonders.

It's a sunny day, So I left the office with three of my colleagues.  We all entered BRT and alighted at the last bus stop. Two of them already got to their destination while myself and one other person have to board another taxi or bike to our own destination.

We bought the drinks and plantain we would eat when we get home.  So we took a bike, I sat first then she sat behind me. We started gisting. I told her how I first got to abeokuta. While we were gisting, just one minute into the journey, we heard a loud hit(gboa), I looked up and realized the bikeman mistakenly hit a guy who was about to cross the road without looking left or right.

There and then, the bike began to lose its balance.  Before I knew it, my friend already jumped out of the bike as she was behind, I was blank at first, so I started struggling to jump off the bike, I kept struggling, the drinks I was carrying already found its way out of the nylon. I held on tight to my phone and kept struggling. The bike now was already on the floor, I tried to stand up before it finally rested on me. I stood up without a  scratch, Just my sandals got spoilt.  My wig almost left my head,  so I adjusted it after I left the road.

I looked back, and I realized there has actually been a trailer behind us all this while.  Wow! this could only have been God. The trailer had break? God allowed the break to work? God allowed the driver apply the break? I was blank completely.

My friend then told me she quickly jumped out of the bike immediately she saw the trailer and she was wondering what I was still doing on the road. I DIDN'T KNOW!  I was just trying to escape from the bike not knowing there was actually something bigger which might have hit me. But then, God said it's not time yet!

People kept coming to me saying I should use pain reliever and make sure I massage my body. They even said my friend was smart, that she quickly jumped.Lol.  So my Friend made sure she picked the drinks scattered on the road.  lol

God just saved us!  That was GRACE, I said.

We got home and we actually still ate the plantain and drank the drinks ... I just kept wondering what would have happened if God had not intervened ...  would we have been dead?  Would we have been hospitalized?

Someone told me same thing happened to a lady but unfortunately, she was crushed to death by the trailer.

Have you ever wondered how an accident happens immediately after you left a scene or before you get there, it could have been you but God always has his way of protecting us. Give him thanks always.

Hey people, God is still on the throne. He always show up when we need him. He keeps to his promises. God loves us so much. He's the only one who shuts a door no one can open, and when he opens a door, no one can shut it.
Gbanigbani ti aye n saya, Alagbada ina,The one who is and is to come.

God is still in the business of doing miracles .....

May the GRACE of the Lord be with us always.

THE TALK WITH A STRANGER

Something happened at work few days ago and I think I need your opinion on the issue.

It's Monday morning. The weather was so cool. My boss had visitors waiting for her in the office. She then told me to stay in her office as she stepped out to do something. So I invited my friend, Wunmi to stay with me since she's actually doing something for my boss. She was actually busy with the law reports research.

So one of the men (visitors)in the office decided to engage in a conversation with us. As he started, Wunmi looks so uninterested as she concentrated on what she's doing. she decided not to contribute. I kept the conversation going by replying what he says.

So he started; he asked if I'm a Yoruba girl and If I speak the language. I nodded. He emphasized on the need to understand and know how to speak one's language. So he decided to tell us about his younger sister who married an igbo man and decided to resign from her job just to travel to her husband's village to learn the language. I was like wow! resigning from one's job on on the name of speaking one's partner's language?

Don't get tired of my story o.  Lol.  Although I was told to just sit in the office but I engaged in a conversation with a stranger.

The man continued by saying its important to keep one's marriage and do anything your spouse says. Don't joke with your marriage, he said. He even said its necessary to do all you can to save your marriage. 

Wunmi just kept looking at us as we conversed.

Then he told me about his marriage. He said he had a first wife but divorced now. He mentioned that he told her to resign as a banker and opened a shop for her. He said he can't marry a career woman. He continued by saying he has high libido so he has sex with his wife almost everyday. So he doesn't allow his wife to travel or have any reason not to sleep at home.

I asked him what if he had any reason to travel out of the country?  He said for what.  Lol.  he said he can't hold himself for a week or else, he would sleep with another woman. So if he has any reason to travel for long, he's going with his wife.

Is it that serious?  I asked..  He said that's his kind of person.  He must have sex at least 5days in a week. Anytime he needs it, he must get it.

He advised that as women, it is important to always be at your husband's reach, Or else he might be snatched.

So I asked him what happened to his first marriage.  why the divorce?  He then said his wife was always having miscarriages. They were married for 8years without a child. so they decided to go separate ways. They didn't know the cause of the miscarriages until after the divorce.

When they got to the hospital, the doctor told him that the reason they have miscarriages is because the husband's blood group is O+ while the wife is O- ,they can not have a child for each other ( most of us don't know this right? ) . O+  should not marry O- . (check your blood group and genotype before you get married).

Now his first wife has a child with another person and he also has a child with someone else.  All they needed to do was to go separate ways. So they did!

Moving on to your opininons
1. Is it advisable to give up one's career all in the name of marriage or your partner's selfish interest?
2. Ladies, can you cope with a man who sleeps with you virtually everyday?
3. Men, please is it that difficult to do without sex or the man in this story was just exaggerating?

My view :The woman still had to make sacrifices in the marriage. Gave up her job because she doesn't want to lose her man.
Looks like a woman is the one who makes more sacrifice in the marriage.

It's international women's day.. Y'all will agree with me that women are strong.  You see what this woman had to give up in this story just to preserve her marriage.

Without women, everything seems incomplete!

P.S : You can comment as anonymous....  no one would see your name.

i

COMMON TO ALL

"My mom is dead", She said to me as I received her call!  Tears rolled down my eyes hearing her shaking voice! I couldn't believe my ears. Dead?  How? When? Where?  What happened exactly?

She has been my friend for over 12 years! We attended the same church. we are used to each other's family. Memories we shared together are so precious. Her mom is such a wonderful and nice woman. My friend is actually a very good friend. We stopped seeing regularly when they left the neighborhood.

It's been a while I heard from her. I never thought I would be crying with her when next I hear from her.

It's a new month. While everyone was excited for the new month, my friend was starting the month with tears and sorrow. I couldn't control my tears as I speak to her younger sister too. Such a sad news.

Is this how it feels?  Is this how people die? Why will death come in without knocking? This looks unfair.

Then it dawned on me, We all owe this debt!
One day, we all will pay the debt.

There's something common to all men
The rich and the poor
The young and old
The ruler and the ruled
Employer and employee
the righteous and the wicked
It's called DEATH

Whatever you have or make won't follow you to the grave.
Then why would you be proud?
Why do you live today like you know tomorrow
While you are alive, make a good use of the opportunity
Take care of your parents while you all are still alive
Treat everyone with love
Live right

What will you be remembered for?
Will God say to you "Welcome my good and faithful servant "?

Whatsoever you find to do, do it now
For in death,  you can do nothing!

May God heal and be with everyone who have lost loved ones! 

I pray that we won't die before our time!  Amen

GIVING UP

Working at the ministry in Abeokuta has actually been fun. Usually, after work, it's easy to get BRT at a cheaper price only if we close early compare to entering cabs.

Just few days ago, my colleague, Titi and I left work to meet up BRT.  But unfortunately, on this day, we closed late and before we could get to the gate of the ministry, all the buses were gone, we were left with the option of entering cab but we didn't want to because we would spend more. So we decided to wave down private cars coming out of the ministry as this seems to be the custom here in abeokuta. You flag down cars and tell them where you are going, if they are going your way, they might decide to stop for you or not.

So we kept on waiting and stopping private cars but seems most of them were not going our way. I was in pains that day. we stood under the sun for over thirty minutes waiting for a car that would go our way but none stopped.

So I started getting tired because of the pain. I then told Titi that we could just take a bike that would take me to my house while Titi would stop on the way since her house is at Kuto.  The bike men we called gave us ridiculous fees so we couldn't enter and decided to continue with our private car search .

Then I gave another option that we could just walk to the junction and get cab at cheaper price to Kuto (if you are familiar with abeokuta, you would know Oke mosan, Kuto and NNPC)

Just as we were deliberating, a car parked and said he was going to NNPC side. Truthfully, that's not where we were going but it's halfway there. I quickly told Titi that we should join the private car instead of standing here unnecessarily. We could just trek from NNPC to KUTO I said.  But Titi refused saying its stressful,that we should just be patient and wait for a private car going our way (KUTO)

I insisted that we should follow this car going to NNPC because I was tired of standing. Just as we were about to enter the car with other people, another private car stopped saying he's going to KUTO.  Apparently, a woman stopped him from behind.  we quickly changed our mind and entered the one going to Kuto.

I was happy and relieved. As we entered the car, I told titi "I've given up already"

Some of us are like me!

In life, we give up at the slightest of things. The pains I was going through in this story could be said to be the struggles and sufferings of life. So we keep giving excuses and various options like I did.

We tend to settle for the less instead of waiting patiently for the more we were made for.

In the journey of life, it is important to be patient and wait upon the Lord.  It's better to enter the right bus which would take you to your destination in life than entering a wrong bus which would stop half way and you start walking the journey again.

You wonder why the Israelites spent 40years instead of 40days?  it was lack of patience.  They even gave up on their creator.

The truth is if we had entered a car going to NNPC, we would have walked to kuto for about 30mins, meanwhile, someone who patiently waited for the right car would have gotten to kuto before us.

You wonder why some people keep moving but in a circle going round and round but not moving forward, it's because they had given up and left the right track due to frustration.  They now faced the wrong track and move slowly thinking they are moving.

You are seeking a job, attended several interviews but your efforts has not been yielding results.  Don't give up yet!  it's about to get better.

Don't make desperation allow you marry the wrong person.  Be patient!

Don't be too desperate in life
Wait upon the Lord and be of good courage.
Surround yourself with people who would encourage you to keep pushing and never give up like Titi did.
I had given up already before that car going our destination came.

I pray that before you give up, God would show up miraculously!

VALENTINE'S DAY 4 (CONCLUDING PART)

She said as she couldn't control her tears anymore;

12a.m this morning, Her boyfriend, Fola called her to wish her happy Valentine! They spoke for over 30minutes before they both retired to bed.

On her way to work, they chatted endlessly. Infact, he said he's coming to surprise her at work today and She was even hoping I would finally meet him

So????  I asked

She said....
immediately she got to work, she logged in to instagram to check whats happening as usual. Guess what she saw as she scrolled down? My sister, she said "I saw the picture of Fola and that girl I saw him with in his room when we were in the University. "

What were they doing in the picture? I asked,

She replied;
It's their Engagement pictures. They did their engagement last Saturday. The engagement was so elaborate. They were so cute together. She looked further and saw that they have also done their court wedding. She saw Fola's parents both smiling in the pictures. She saw these pictures on one of the wedding IG handles. She said as tears flow freely from her eyes as she showed me the pictures.

At this point, I felt really sorry for my friend. So she has been deceived all these while.  For good 4years. He is still deceiving her. Why couldn't he even break up with her before he got engaged to another woman? what about Fola's parents? Did they deceive Wunmi too?  what story did Fola tell his parents? This is wickedness.

I quickly asked about Sam

Wunmi told me Sam just proposed to his girlfriend on Sunday. He told her about it because of their friendship. They planned the proposal together.

This is so so sad I said. How could a man like Fola be so heartless?why did Wunmi waive away warning signals?  I thought to myself. She saw the signs but was lost in the ocean of love.

I tried to pacify my friend so I decided I'm going to tell her my story about "the man I love whose name starts with S"

As I was about to start;  She wanted to leave but I begged her to listen to my own story.

I started;
I'm in love with a man whose name starts with S
He's so loving and caring
Ever since I met him, it has been happiness all the way.
When I'm down, he shows up and lifts me
He has proven to me so well that I won't find anyone like him
In time of tears, he's my comforter
In my weakness, he strengthens me
He knows and sees my flaws, yet loves me

Wunmi sighs

I continued in tears this time;
He's a shoulder to lean on
His love for me is so real
I love the way he loves me
Even when I find it difficult to express my love, he still loves me
He's always faithful to me
Oh!  I can't describe him enough
Everyone around me can testify of how good he is to me.
He is faithful to me

I'm in love with a man whose name starts with S
I will never trade him for anyone else
I have vowed to stay with him for the rest of my life
I can't tell of his wonderful works enough
I'm in love with the SAVIOUR!

We were both in tears as I finished talking.

Then I said to her;

Wunmi, I'm very sorry for everything that happened to you.
But I want to reintroduce you to the saviour, He's the only that saves.
I know you know him but I can say to you that you don't love him enough
You were just going to church
You never even committed your relationship to God's hands
You waived away warning signals
You saw the signs boldly but you ignored it
Mistakes are part of our lives though
I'm sure you have learnt your lessons
You walked in the flesh even when you knew the truth (JESUS)
No relationship is worth your relationship with God
You just wanted to be everything Fola wants you to be.
God has a reason for everything
I'm sure you don't want to end up with heartless Fola
You need to give your all to the saviour right now
Give all your love to him
It's not too late dear
Only when you find him, you can find yourself
There's no better love than Jesus' Love
Let him fight all your battles
Let go and Let God.
It is well dear
Cry no more!
Rejoice in Lord
May He heal your broken heart.

We prayed together and wiped our tears.

Checked the time,  it's 5:30pm already. Seems as if everyone had gone home.  we quickly headed home as I kept speaking and encouraging Wunmi.

ON VALENTINE'S DAY, she was heartbroken in the morning, but just before she left for home in the evening, she found peace in Christ. I know the healing might take time but I'm happy she's back in Christ.  This is a VALENTINE well spent to hear a friend, advise her and pray with her.

To everyone out there, some people are in an abusive relationship like Wunmi, but you keep enduring all in the name of love. DON'T TRY TO BE EVERYTHING YOUR PARTNER WANTS YOU TO BE FORGETTING WHAT GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO BE. Kindly seek help now, talk to God about it. Love the saviour, do his will and he will order your steps. Just keep asking him for his perfect will in your relationship.

May we not love for the wrong reasons. May we find true love. May that person you love reciprocate that love to you. You will never be deceived.

Thank you all for Reading!!!!

VALENTINE'S DAY 3

We didn't spend much time at the cafeteria as I dont eat much and Wunmi had little or no appetite. We left for Wunmi's office after eating.

We entered her office and sat.  She asked if I could just shut up and listen to the whole story because I was interrupting her. I said Okay.

She continued....

She picked her phone, she left and went back to church. After church service ended, she went to Fola's hostel because he had already told her to come after service. She entered and didn't meet the girl there again. Fola tried to explain himself, saying there's nothing between him and the girl. The girl actually came to tempt him and it was all Wunmi's fault. Just because she didn't allow him have sex with him. He started sounding sympathetic, he said it has not been easy for him to hold himself for almost two years, if only Wunmi could just allow him. After all,  he's still going to marry her. Wunmi felt sorry for him and told him she would think about it.

Meanwhile Sam has been trying to reach Wunmi but he didn't have her contact. He tried all he could and later got her number from one of her friends.  The first time he called, she quickly told him she's not allowed to talk to a guy so she won't be able to talk to him, I'm sorry, she added. She also narrated what happened to her the other day her boyfriend saw her talking to him.  Sam felt sorry for her but said he would communicate through text messages.

Sam and Wunmi started talking and chatting without the knowledge of Fola.  With time, Sam began to fall in love with Wunmi but couldn't tell her. He cared for her so much.  Wunmi paid more attention to her relationship with Fola.

One evening after lectures, She went to Fola's place to say hello as usual. So it all started, they started kissing and romancing, Wunmi tried to remind Fola of the rule that no sex before marriage. But fola replied by saying the reply he gave her that day was that he would wait till she's ready, not till marriage. He added that he knows she will grow into wanting it soon, that's why he agreed.

"Smart Fola" I thought to myself.

Wunmi loved Fola so much, So she gave in.  Fola was so excited that it finally happened. He started professing his love for Wunmi. Wunmi, on her part, felt indifferent about what happened. Yes! it was painful but she didn't know if she wanted it or if she enjoyed it.

You gave out your virginity just like that!!! I exclaimed

She ignored what I said and continued;

Their relationship continued. Fola took Wunmi home as his girlfriend and Wunmi was so happy with this. She felt at home. She spent the weekend there,helped with housechores and all. 

Now that she has been to Fola's house, she's already feeling like a wife.  She paid little attention to Sam these days. Fola now succeeded in making her miss church activities. The Love grew stronger in Wunmi.

Wunmi had a group presentation the next day in class so she needed to submit her own points to the group leader(a guy) . She left the hostel with two of her friends as it was 6pm in the evening. She forgot to tell Fola where she was going and she left her phone at home.  Fola kept calling and calling but no reply from Wunmi's end. He became worried wondering what might be wrong.  He headed to her hostel only to see Wunmi talking to a guy, ignoring Wunmi's friends that were there, he pounced on Wunmi and started beating her with annoyance, he then left her helpless. Wunmi was helped by her friends who carried her to the hostel and took care of her.

The next day, Fola called her to tell her that he was in front of her hostel. Wunmi's friends tried to convince her not to pick but she didn't listen. She picked and listen to what he had to say. Fola begged for forgiveness promising again that it won't happen. She forgave him, Fola then took her to his own hostel and continued to take care of her.

Fola just finished his final exams and project defence.  It was a very joyous but sad moment as Wunmi would miss Fola so much.  Fola promised to keep in touch and they are meant for each other. Wunmi started imagining their wedding hashtag #Folawunmi

Fola proceeded to serve the nation while Wunmi remained in the University and final year.  Wunmi noticed she was pregnant after Fola graduated, she quickly called Fola's attention to it and they both agreed to abort it as they were not ready to be parents. The abortion was successful.

Sam had the opportunity to talk to her and tell her how much he loves her. He respects her relationship and he's going to respect any decision she makes concerning him. Wunmi told him she's not interested.  They continued as friends.

Wunmi visits Fola's parents once in a while to help them. She was actually loved.

Wunmi said goodbye to Sam as they graduated from the University but they still communicate even after school

So why are you crying this much Wunmi?  I asked

Wunmi then said;

Fola is done with Nysc,he has a good job, nice apartment and he's also rich.  She asked him what's his plan for them. He said he could see future with her.  She was very happy  to hear that. She couldn't wait to get married to this wonderful man.

Now Wunmi is serving in ogun state. Fola was still her boyfriend until now.

So what happened exactly?  I asked..........

what might have happened to their relationship?  Is Fola dead?  I could not fathom what might be wrong............

What do y'all think might have happened???