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Saturday 21 July 2018

MY THOUGHTS ON ACRIMONY





Oh yeah! I hardly watch Hollywood but guess what, I just watched ACRIMONY. There's a need to write about it.

ACRIMONY is full of lessons. It's beyond trying to figure out who is at fault. It's more of pick your lessons from the movie and walk away. Don't try to support one party or else you will end up supporting the other too.

When i downloaded the movie and realised its not subtitled, I was wondering if I would enjoy it well. Not that I don't understand English o,don't get me wrong,I just needed to read along as I listened to them speak. My cousin showed up and helped me in downloading the subtitle. So we started watching.

The movie started with a court scene and we listened attentively. Then the story began with  Melinda saying her own side of the story.   Like most people, I blamed the guy at first. We would pause the movie at intervals just because I have something to say. I was furious . Why will he sleep with her when she was mourning her mother? Why would you give your money to a guy and he ends up cheating on you? He comes back begging and you throw yourself at him again?  Why? Why? Why? I was already seeing the guy as a cheat because the story was Melinda' perspective.  Trust me, she would say it to favour herself. My cousin kept telling me to calm down, let's finish watching.

As we continued,I realise it's not a movie you could take sides. I then calmed down to watch till the end. I was now the one telling my cousin to calm down and let's conclude the movie.

I'll love to highlight some lessons I learnt;

NEVER WAIVE AWAY WARNING SIGNALS:
Always remember this when choosing a life partner. Before you walk down that aisle, don't turn blind eyes and deaf ears to warning signals. God will not allow some things to happen in your life without warning you in advance. Melinda' husband not only knew but saw the kind of person she is.  He saw the signs but still went ahead to marry Melinda.
What signs am I talking about? Anger issues. She told him to his face. He saw it himself right from the first the first day. How? It started with a slap on their first encounter. He saw she gets angry easily. Then he went ahead to date her. While dating her, He cheated on her and he saw her reaction. She actually drove trashed where he was staying and destroyed the car she bought for him. Just because of that act, she injured herself and couldn't conceive for the rest of her life.  He saw she could kill when she's angry. But he still went ahead to marry her. Even the side chick asked him years later what he did to Melinda,He replied "I Married her". All in the name of love. This decision he made almost took his life years later. He married the woman who could have taken his life.

DONT ALWAYS TAKE FROM WHERE YOU HAVE NOT DEPOSITED.
YOU can't keep taking from where you have not deposited, it's wrong.You would be choking the other party. The other party could get tired and frustrated. Robert should have given in the relationship too.  Melinda was the one providing monetarily. Infact,it looks as if Robert intentionally relied on the 350,000 dollars her mother left for her.  He kept spending the money till it remained nothing. When the money finished, He told her to mortgage her house. I was like really? Couldn't he just get a job to support the house. He even said he will try to get a job. Just try? This was what gave Melinda the impression that she's been used. That her husband was just interested in her money, whereas he isn't. She gave him all she had all in the name of love.
Whether monetary or not, if you've not deposited something in someone's life,you can't keep taking from them. You can't keep depending on people. While he was waiting on his vision, he should have supported his wife. Okay , what if he never made the millions???

MARRY SOMEONE WHO BELIEVES IN YOUR VISION.
The person you marry is very important in the attainment of your goals and vision in life. I can boldly say, Melinda never believed in Robert's vision(My opinion). Although she contributed towards the course but she didn't believe in it. She just kept giving him because she loves him. When she had no more, she then started listening to sidetalks. She didn't believe Robert's dream will come into reality. If she did, she would have stayed no matter what till the vision is attained. She never encouraged him, she never gave him hope. Even after he told her everything he would get for her, she replied by saying all she wanted him to do was get a job. She even said he borrowed suit to see her, not knowing he came to give her 10million dollars. The huge amount they have never made in her own family. The stone that was rejected now became the corner stone. 
"Get married to someone who would not only support your vision but also believe in it till the end"



TRUST
Trust takes years to build but just one minute to break it. Robert betrayed Belinda' trust for him and it was not easy to build it over the years. He cheated her while they were dating and she still forgave him and married him. He then broke another trust by not telling her he had been jailed for 2years while he was younger. He didnt say it until she asked why he couldn't get a job. Trust has been broken. Years later, the purse issue happened. The trust was shaking right from the foundation of the marriage. So she couldn't believe him when he told him he had nothing to do with the side chick.
"How are we even sure the side chick did not intentionally forget her purse?"
It is important to always endeavour not to break trust in relationships even friendship.  It's not always easy to build again.

WORK ON YOURSELF
No one is beyond improvement. We are work in progress. We're suppose to keep developing ourselves.
This is the mistake Melinda made. She knew she had anger issues but didn't do anything about it. She told Robert who she is.
Some people are like Melinda, they would say "You have to take me for who I am, I can't change, it's my person" . I need to tell you all that Melinda' lack of working on herself led to her death. Her anger issues killed her.
If you have any issues, please seek help. We improve daily.

LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH
it's good to be in love but love is not enough.  There are lot of things needed to keep a marriage. Robert loved Melinda truly even till the point of death. He was in pains but he didn't want her to die.
They both loved each other but love was not enough to sustain them.
"But then why didn't he go back to his ex-wife after he made the million dollars? Why the side chick? Why didn't he fight further for his wife he claims he loves?  Why did he have to do all the things he promised his exwife for the side chick who later became his wife?
So many questions left unanswered.

THIRD PARTY INVOLVEMENT / HEAR THE OTHER SIDE
NEVER allow a third party in your relationship, it does more harm than good. Melinda' sisters involvement was one of the reasons the marriage had to break. Why did her sister have to bring the purse to her? Why? Oh! She acted like a concerned sister would?

Always hear the other side of the story. Judging one sided story is not always good.

DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS.
Believe in your dreams even when people don't. It might take years of waiting,hard work,pain, tears, sleepless nights, being broke. But I assure you, it will happen. It will be worth the wait. You will have it just as you have visioned it. But what do you do during your waiting period?

In conclusion, Let's always remember we are responsible for our decisions. We will all account for our choices sooner or later. Be careful when taking decisions.

Feel free to drop your thoughts about the movie in the comment box below 👇. Whose side are you? The husband, the wife, or the side chick?

17 comments:

  1. Everyone in that movie has one fault or the other no one is above mistake

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  2. Well, i think you have highlighted the issues btw melinda n robert in the movie but it is wrong to say only robert ignored the red flags, they both did. Cheating on your partner comes with grave consequences even if the other deals patiently with it (Ref: WAR ROOM). Secondly melinda believed in his dreams but was financially frustrated after 2 DECADES with robert! Mehn it aint easy,that's why she was enraged when he fulfilled the promises he made with her to another woman! Lastly (lol) on the 'dont take from where you didnt deposit' i will not totally disagree with that because because there are two sides to a coin. I believe a woman should assist in whatever way in her power for her man as long as he has a vision and is tenancious abt it, we all couldnt expect him to get a profitable job when he could not be possibly hired as an ex convict or divide his time doing menial jobs and his inventions. Robert couldnt go back because melinda would continually be crazy at any woman-related issue with robert even if there was nothing. the trust btw them had been broken!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Incredible piece as usual. So many lessons in one story. Thanks for breaking it down.👍👍

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  4. Nice, I haven't watched the movie , but I think I now know what it is about from your write up.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I liked that you highlighted both Melinda and Robert's flaws. So many questions to be answered...
    I believe Melinda actually believed his dream and vision at first, but Yoruba will say, ireti pipe maa n mokan saare. She got tired and frustrated at the end, ko easy to be truthful. However she shouldn't have left him. I mean, I wouldn't invest that much in any man for that many years and leave him over something that should have made me leave a very long time ago.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So many questions left unanswered o. Thank you for reading and sharing your view.

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  6. Brilliant write-up darling..You highlighted it just exactly the way it is...Melinda had a choice of not giving him a penny but she still did...So what made her give him her all should have still kept her...The guy believed so much in himself,that was why he ddnt try doing any menial job cos his attention into building and improving on his project would be divided.so much to say but let me hang it here

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for reading and sharing your view too

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  7. This is a strikingly interesting analysis of the movie, Acrimony. I must commend MayorCobson for this painstaking effort. More ink to your pen.

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  8. Thank you for taking your time to read twinnie

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